After years of living together, stepping over and on one another’s toes, rolling over in bed to see the other or knowing the other was close by, crying on shoulders, laughing, bring up or down the kids, building up, breaking down and solidifying once and for all, career choices – moves, support, seeing your parents decline, maybe the joy of grandchildren, someone wants to divorce.
The trend toward baby boomers seeking divorce is increasingly common and defies a simple explanation. Doubling the risk for divorce are empty nesters between the ages of 54-63, where complicated marital narratives and side stories tend toward interesting biographies and where those second marriages for those over 57, quadruple.
Downsizing, getting rid of baggage, a lifetime of collectibles, letting go of nonsense. Seeing the forest for the trees, practicing mindfulness, meditation. And now faced with figuring out co-parenting and even, grandparenting.
With the help of experienced and specifically trained professionals, the facilitation of the legal divorce process can commence with emotional dignity and a close approximation to the outcome both of you seek. With neutrals or individual coaches, financial advisors, mediators and family law attorneys skilled in the practice of collaboration, the specifics to divorcing in your mid-years have consequences unparallel to the younger divorcee.
Considerations regarding alimony replacing child support, condominium living instead of a single house, pulling funds from retirement and tax consequences, the grey divorce is a complex system of checks and balances. Keeping it polite, civil and businesslike, where the healing is built into theoutcome, is what we hope to achieve.
The collaborative divorce model with its emphasis on respect, calm and a sense of fairness cannot reconcile past inequities, it can, however, pave a path to create the next life chapter.
Please forward your inquiries to Rana Glick MA, LMFT at familytherapycentre.com